I have spent a great deal of time wondering, praying, hoping that sometime soon I’d have the opportunity to move forward with a desire that’s been on my heart for many, MANY years.  The time has finally come to move into a new phase of life…change directions for awhile and refocus on a new stage in my life.

When I was younger, I’ll admit I thoroughly enjoyed bossing my younger brothers around.  I vividly remember being told that I wasn’t the boss or to stop being a mother hen.  But the truth was that I LOVED being in charge, showing them how to do things, telling them the right way.  As I got older (okay not really older but once you hit grade 7 you finally start feeling older), I participated in peer counselling programs, started baby-sitting, helping in the nursery and other kids programs at church and just generally began feeling the groove of where my travels may eventually take me.  I can’t really pinpoint the moment I realized my life calling became apparent to me but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that all my life experience has led me to the inevitable conclusion that I was meant to be a teacher.

I was in the car this morning with three, sweet four year olds.  As I drove and listened to their banter I smiled, it was innocent and beautiful, silly and ridiculous but their laughter and joy filled the van.  They were giggly and chatty, as they always are when they first get together.  I love hearing their little voices calling each other by name and catching up on the details of the days they’ve missed.  It never ceases to amaze me how children can spend hours with their friends and the next time they see each other, whether it be hours or days later they have countless details to relay. Continue reading

hymn-bookAnd so the debate continues….Really to my mind such a ridiculous discussion that we have allowed to taint the times we have of praise with scowls and sourpuss faces.  Silly expressions, you say?  What I find truly remarkable, and even silly, is the type of discord that we allow to filter into our places and times of worship!  Hmmm, I guess my inside voice just snuck out:(  It makes me sad watching different generations react to certain genres of music with distain and dislike.  The thing is that we’re all guilty of it to some degree…if we’re really honest there have been times when we’ve sat in a service with our hands crossed like a small child, mad because we didn’t get our way.  I’ve watched it…I’ve seen the older fellow across the aisle with his nose turned up at the overly repetitious chorus that “really doesn’t say anything at all”.  In the same service I’ve looked on my other side to see the younger person standing with their arms folded and their eyes rolling at the completely “old-fashioned” lyrics to that hymn that “sounds like it dropped right out of the 1800’s”.  Heck I’ve even closed my eyes and viciously fought the temptation to plug my ears when the strains of a southern gospel tune hits my eardrums.  There is no denying that we all have various tastes in music and our minds process the beauty of notes threaded together in very different ways.

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While we have not yet reached the point of jetting off to some luxurious, tropical vacation during the kids spring break we do try to find a few fun things to entertain ourselves with.  This break so far has been VERY low-key…we’ve basically hung around close to home as both James and I still have regular work schedules to maintain.  Thankfully we’ve been blessed with some sunshine, albeit rather cold sunshine, but sunshine nonetheless, which means the kids have been able to get outside for a few hours a day playing hockey in the driveway, riding bikes and rollerblades or jumping on the trampoline.  I think James and I half expected to have a Saturday full of rain and neither of us brought up plans for the day.

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Okay so in keeping with the idea that my kids can have the opportunity to share a little about their lives on my blog here is a story Sam wrote for his Language Arts class.  The assignment was to re-write a classic Fairytale in a “broken” fashion…hence the assignment being titled “Fractured Fairytale”.  I’m not 100% sure if Sam captured the point (he hasn’t gotten his grade back yet), but it’s definitely an interesting read.  I asked him if I could share it here and he was happy to oblige.  While I find the story a bit odd and somewhat disturbing, I can appreciate that this is not an area he’s particularly strong in and he gave it his best effort.  So without further ado…enjoy!

The change that broke his heart Continue reading

I will probably write this post multiple times in my life…in fact I found its sister on the pages of my blog from two and half years ago when the letting go was merely beginning.  The fact of the matter is that life really is about letting go many times over.  We find things, people, events, moments and we reach out to grasp them.  We hold them close for a time and then realize it’s time to let go, then we repeat the cycle again with something new and fresh.  I find myself in a season of letting go and it’s really not a bad thing, in fact in so many ways it’s been very freeing.  If I were to spend time analyzing it I could say it may be the years of maturity or perhaps the realization that I can’t control everything anyway, or even better, things just being pried from my tight grip.  Regardless of the circumstance I’m glad I am in a place to experience this immense burden being lifted.

The truth is, that part of my personality has always been to maintain, organize, control (if you will) the situation.  My brothers liked to refer to me as the “mother hen” or “bossy pants”, both of which I’ll freely admit to being.  My husband teasingly refers to me as his “little planner/organizer”, again both things that I can see as glaringly obvious tendencies.  I do think that all of these qualities have their place, they’re all part of my talents and abilities and what makes me who I am, but they can also be part of my weakness.  They cause me to hold on too tight, to forget that part of our life journey is to let things go and move ahead.  Over the years, I think there are a few areas I’ve held on a little too tightly, my family, both immediate and extended, my friendships, money, reputation, just to name a few.  But the last few months I’ve felt my perspective shift a bit.  While you may be expecting an amazing experience that led to some great epiphany, the truth is that my eyes are just opening.

The reminder that things can be great and amazing without my firm grip has occurred daily.  As I’ve stepped back and opened my hands I’ve seen the great joy that comes with acknowledging that I control little and that there is One who oversees all.  Here’s a few, that over the last few weeks have brought me to a place of peace…

An evening with friends, that I could have spent stressing over the budget, or lack thereof.  I could have agonized over appetizers or not, steak or salad, a glass of wine with my meal or abstain, dessert or just have something sweet at home but instead I turned to my dear husband and told him to pay the bill and keep it far from my sight.  The reward of just enjoying myself was immense.  No knot in my stomach wondering how on earth we were going to pay for this.

A dinner with family that I walked into with the soul purpose of enjoying what EVERYONE had to offer.  No worries about what may or may not unfold, no apologies for how I handled my children, no desire or need to discuss dos and don’ts, just pure and simple being together.

A last minute dinner with my husband and a co-worker that resulted in leaving our oldest home to baby-sit and for the first time put his sisters to bed.  Then to be rewarded by coming home at exactly bedtime, for said little girls, and find both of them peacefully sleeping in bed.

A work event, glitches here and there, but trusting those whom I’ve asked to help and releasing my expectation in exchange for knowledge that what will be, will be.

A spontaneous jaunt to the mall with all four of my kids.  Usually a place I avoid, but their desperate plea to shop broke my barriers.  A few well placed words and a “letting go” of my usual need to corral and ensure they appear to be the most well-behaved children in the entire universe left me with the amazing opportunity to watch them “grow up” right before my eyes.  It was as if they physically sensed my grip loosening and with that realization came the ability for them to finally take that moment to show me just how incredibly great they CAN be.

So many opportunities to experience the peace and joy that comes from recognizing that my need to have it all together generally makes a situation chaotic.  When I choose to let go, I give room to experience the bigger picture that my Creator has designed and the ability for others to journey alongside me in the most fulfilling, uplifting way.

 

TED

Hmmm, I am not 100% sure all the time how to begin posts!  I don’t always have a pithy comment or witty statement to really feel like I’ve engaged a reader.  That being said, most of what I write is for my own reflection anyway, so perhaps I shouldn’t try too hard.

In any case I really did enjoy many thought-provoking statements I heard from Bruce Feiler on a recent TED talk he conducted on Parenting.  Let me first clarify that I’m not an avid TED talk “watcher”…James is the one constantly scouring through recent presentations, looking for valuable thoughts and ideas that he can apply to work and life, in general.  I’ll admit that sometimes when he gets super passionate about a specific presentation I roll my eyes.  He knows that and as a result, has become savvy in what he chooses to share with me. Continue reading

You just. never. know….

I’ve always wondered how I would react in the face of an actual emergency.  Would I panic?  Would my mind go completely blank?  Would I know exactly what steps I should take?  Would I be able to remain calm?  So many things I’ve always wondered.  I’m sure every “emergency” would ignite a different response based on how severe, who was affected, if I could help, etc.  You just. never. know!!!  That is until you DO, actually, know that you should pick up the phone and call 911! Continue reading

photoToday is Lanae’s first post!  She is an energetic little girl who longs for adventure.  She is quite eager to give this a go and is even going to try and type on her own.  I promise I won’t edit too much but I may jump in here or there just to make sure her sentences are at least understandable!  So without further introduction here she is…

One  day  i  want  to  go  on  an  adventure  and  the  place  i  want  is  Vancouver  because  my  uncle  lives  there!