So while we celebrate Father’s Day every June, we also celebrate the birthday of a pretty special guy!  This year we were set to celebrate a pretty big milestone with my Dad.  60 glorious years of life!  He may beg to differ on all 60 of them being glorious but it seems appropriate that this milestone deserves a bit of exaggeration.  Needless to say that with the events of the previous month we were all finding it difficult to muster the energy and desire to put together a big shindig AND my father is not one for extravagant parties.  He is the epitome of the “strong, silent” type.  Instead we opted for a small, family gathering with just our immediate family.  A fun, photo scavenger hunt was put together, teams were created, funky hats were distributed, 60 citronella candles were purchased and food arranged.

We had so much fun celebrating the man who has quietly loved us through life.  My dad is an unassuming individual who has spent most of his life giving of himself so that his family would never go without.  I don’t think I have ever heard him complain about how difficult life can be.  Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of stories we could share about his amusing antics, making us graham cracker chicken, making us eat outside or in the garage as a punishment for poor table manners or disobedience, an encounter or two with a belt of the leather variety, etc.  Better yet, we could probably share some insider information on the fact that he’ll eat almost anything because his tastebuds are literally broken, he has a few grandkids but one little granddaughter has him particularly wrapped around her little finger, we mock him sometimes because he used to be so strict and the man we now see doting on his grandkids is not the same one we recall growing up.  But the truth of the matter is that we love him so much and he has given us an amazing amount of memories and experiences that have made us kids, the people we are today.  There are many attributes and character qualities that we can pick out in each other that remind us of the best we see if our dad.  While it wasn’t the same celebration that we’d hoped to give him and we were all aware of the little missing person that should have filled the frame of many a picture, we know the memories we created on that day will give us each a great deal of joy as we reflect on who this man is to us and why we are so incredibly thankful and blessed for his presence in our lives.

I’ve included the link for the slideshow we put together to remember the day and I think it’ll give you a better idea of just how much fun we had being silly while we celebrated this very amazing man that I am proud to call my father!

A Day of Memories

FOR FUN…

I’ve said it before but I’ll gladly say it again…my husband is SO CREATIVE!!!  Whether it’s being creative at work, creative at parenting or just plain creative with life, his mind thinks in ways I cannot fathom.  The latest creative endeavor in our home has been sandwich bags made uniquely for each child.

Now let’s just clear the air from the start.  There is no possible way for me to claim that this is environmentally friendly, in fact it’s probably quite the opposite.  However the anticipation it creates for my children to open their lunches makes it easier for me to justify my contribution to global warming.

James came across a designer’s blog some time ago that had fun ideas for using your creative skills in your child’s lunchbox.  He showed me some of the unique creations and then expressed the desire to do something similar with his kiddos.  So he started one Sunday evening with one black and one red sharpie.  The result was stunning…four drawings on a ziploc baggie for each of his kids.  The picture was something special to them and a way for him to let his kids know that he thought of them throughout the day.

Three weeks later and said creative idea going strong, I decided to fill his “toolbox” with a whole set of colorful sharpies.  The result was wonderful…

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THE WORDS OF OUR HEARTS

Ryker's HandIn times of deep sorrow it would seem a wonderful blessing if the tears that fall could speak the words of our heart.  Alas that is not the case and we are left to use mere words to share the moments, thoughts, and memories to explain the pain that settles in the soul.  Today if my tears could speak they would ask questions.  Why?  Why now?  Why at all?  Why this?  The list of “why” questions would be abundant, seemingly never ending.  But in the quiet lack of response our minds grasp that the questions will remain unanswered, that the anguish and loneliness will settle deep in our souls and be a companion for a time.

I share a tiny piece of this story.  The loss of sweet, sweet dreams and a lifetime of “if onlys”.  The bigger story and deeper pain, the reality of lives forever altered and joys ripped away is borne by two individuals that I love deeply.  One who shares the bond of family ties and the other who chose that bond out of love and commitment.  Joel and Meghan have graced the pages of this blog before.  They exchanged their wedding vows on our 11th wedding anniversary and watching their life together take shape has been wonderful.  In so many ways all the things they have planned have come together so flawlessly.  May 20th will be etched on our minds as a day that flawless became flawed.

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This may seem like a silly reflection to some, especially since my grandparents have been dead for many years, but over the last month I’ve had some seriously intense moments of missing my grandma.  For a little family background…my dad’s mom died before I was born so I never met her, my dad’s dad has been in and out of our family life for various reasons over the years so I don’t have a relationship with him, my mom’s dad died when I was quite young, although I remember visiting him in a number of care homes and the day he died, and my mom’s mom, my grandma, died when I was 13.  That left my grandma as the one grandparent I had a lasting, memorable relationship with and still hold those memories dear.

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I was in the car this morning with three, sweet four year olds.  As I drove and listened to their banter I smiled, it was innocent and beautiful, silly and ridiculous but their laughter and joy filled the van.  They were giggly and chatty, as they always are when they first get together.  I love hearing their little voices calling each other by name and catching up on the details of the days they’ve missed.  It never ceases to amaze me how children can spend hours with their friends and the next time they see each other, whether it be hours or days later they have countless details to relay. Continue reading

While we have not yet reached the point of jetting off to some luxurious, tropical vacation during the kids spring break we do try to find a few fun things to entertain ourselves with.  This break so far has been VERY low-key…we’ve basically hung around close to home as both James and I still have regular work schedules to maintain.  Thankfully we’ve been blessed with some sunshine, albeit rather cold sunshine, but sunshine nonetheless, which means the kids have been able to get outside for a few hours a day playing hockey in the driveway, riding bikes and rollerblades or jumping on the trampoline.  I think James and I half expected to have a Saturday full of rain and neither of us brought up plans for the day.

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TED

Hmmm, I am not 100% sure all the time how to begin posts!  I don’t always have a pithy comment or witty statement to really feel like I’ve engaged a reader.  That being said, most of what I write is for my own reflection anyway, so perhaps I shouldn’t try too hard.

In any case I really did enjoy many thought-provoking statements I heard from Bruce Feiler on a recent TED talk he conducted on Parenting.  Let me first clarify that I’m not an avid TED talk “watcher”…James is the one constantly scouring through recent presentations, looking for valuable thoughts and ideas that he can apply to work and life, in general.  I’ll admit that sometimes when he gets super passionate about a specific presentation I roll my eyes.  He knows that and as a result, has become savvy in what he chooses to share with me. Continue reading

I will never say…like my mother did

How many times have I said, “I will never say…like my mother did” or “I will never do…the same way my parents did”?  I’m sure there are countless things about the generations before us that we swore we’d never do.  And yet as we mature, experience life and wisdom begins to invade the deeper recesses of our minds we find ourselves unable to say anything other than that which we’ve heard ringing in our own ears.

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Someone on Facebook shared this picture today.  At first I just scrolled past it as I have MANY shared pictures but I came back to it a few minutes later and actually looked at it and then read the caption and I laughed…

Someone, somewhere captured the essence of AGAPE love in this silly little cartoon.  On Christianity Today Agape is defined as…”Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love”… If you check Wikipedia it says… Thomas Jay Oord has defined agape as “an intentional response to promote well-being when responding to that which has generated ill-being.”

Regardless of exactly which words you use to define AGAPE, the insinuation is the same.  No matter the situation, no matter how you feel at the moment, you intentionally sacrifice something of yourself to put the person you “love” first.  While it’s pretty self-explanatory it just reminded me that this is how I feel about my children, this is how I feel about my husband and thankfully I feel fairly confident that this is how God feels about me.

On a friend’s Facebook page the other day, she started a thread on what people did during the busy holiday season of Christmas to bring things down a little.  Things that helped them to focus on the birth of Christ or on family instead of the “rat-race” that can be December.  In our home we have a number of traditions that help us refocus and reconnect with each other and the birth of Jesus.  Even without these traditions though, Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year.  I love sitting beside a lit Christmas tree and reading a good book or drinking hot chocolate and snuggling one of my kiddos.  While it can be chaotic it can also be one of the most fulfilling times of year.

As a Christ-follower, I feel that somehow I have an inherent sense of peace during this season.  It’s almost as if December 1st hits me with an inexplicable joy and great sense of anticipation.  In all honesty, it has nothing to do with presents.  While I love giving gifts and, of course, receiving them, it’s more the festivities, colour, songs, etc. that sets my heart in a perpetual rhythm of gladness for one full month.

This year hasn’t been any different!  Don’t get me wrong, I have had many moments of being completely frustrated, of being over the top angry and just all around overwhelmed (just ask my husband he’ll have a few stories).  But the sense of quiet and “bubbling, beneath the surface excitement” is always there.  Amidst the chaos of Christmas parties, Christmas baking, Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, Christmas dressing we find so many moments as a family to connect and hang out.  Part of that is purposeful and part of that seems to be a natural inclination that we have as human beings to “need” each other.  I realize that I am blessed to have family, both immediate and extended, that constantly seek out moments to re-connect.  I have siblings that care to know each other, parents that cherish time with each of their children and grandchildren, in-laws that are more than eager to carve out time to spend with us, and a husband and children who actually try to be together and there for each other.  I also have friends that are more than happy to interrupt an already busy season with impromptu gatherings, or scheduled bake-offs, or even just random, deep texts about the realities of life.

A perfect example of seeing this “need” for each other happened the other day when Annie came home reciting one of her many, little pieces for her Christmas program at preschool and the oldest three piped up how they were planning on attending.  “Where else would they be”, they wondered!!  Little did they realize that the program happened during school hours and they would all be in their classes during her performance.  While I was thrilled that they were all planning on being there without question, I had my doubts about pulling them out of school just for a 15 minute program.  A week and a bit rolled by and the weekend before, James and I headed out of town together.  The kids were well taken care of by my brother and sister-in-law.  The Sunday afternoon when we got home, the kids were so happy to see us.  As the evening drew to a close, I realized that Annie’s program was the next morning and I hadn’t really given it too much thought.  I took a moment to think through just how meaningful it was that all the big kids wanted to show their little sister support and be there in her excitement.  We sat down and had a little chat about whether or not they really wanted to miss school, what they’d be missing, if they had projects, homework, etc. that was due and if perhaps they would like to just have a day at home all together afterward.  I was thrilled that a spontaneous day of Christmas cheer turned into a relaxing day with my children.  We saw Annie:

We had a few snacks with her:

And then I dropped the one child off who loves school for the rest of his day and the rest of us headed off to Wal-Mart to do some Christmas shopping.  I was blessed to see my children having a wonderful time picking out gifts for their cousins, thinking of others, happily enjoying themselves, together, as a family.

The rest of the day consisted of homework, cookie baking, Christmas music and finished off with a belated Saint Nicholas Day celebration.  While we couldn’t do everything we’d normally do for this celebration on this particular evening it was well worth the decision to follow through with a portion of it at least.  Listening to Sam pray at the dinner table that we’d all understand that the reasons for why we’ve chosen to celebrate Saint Nicholas Day during the Christmas season as a family was because it would help remind us to be kind, to give to others in need and remember that Jesus asks us to help those in need, was such a huge reminder to me that Christmas does bring a depth of joy that we don’t feel any other time of year.

Later as the kids opened their Saint Nicholas Day stockings and we planned our yearly Angel Tree trip for later in the week, we laughed, we read our Christmas story for the evening, the girls and I sang a carol or two and I was reminded that God is good.  He is good all the time, but we are so able to recognize His goodness during this time of year when we feel the joy of the gift He gave us.  When we feel our families reaching towards each other and finding memories in the moments we share as we join in the traditions that we’ve created, uniquely, as an individual family.

 So this year, I feel challenged to recognize each day a moment or two, when I feel the closeness of my Creator and to bask in it.  To savour that moment so that when the rest of the year traipses on I’ll remember the peace I could rest in during this particular season.