I had a wonderful day yesterday celebrating being a mom that started on Friday afternoon and continued well into Monday!  So really I would rather refer to it this year as Mother’s weekend!

Friday afternoon I was invited by Jake’s teacher to a Mother’s day tea.  She asked if I would be willing to help her out a little before the rest of the moms arrived and I was more than glad to accomodate her request.  I got out my fine china with the full intention of spoiling the moms of Jake’s friends.  We had a great time drinking tea and eating strawberry shortcake and watching our enthusiastic five and six year olds singing the “Cricket Can-can” and a few other well rehearsed songs.  Every child was so happy to show their mom (or Grandma) just how special they were.  Jake gave me a little card with a tea bag inside and a great painting he’d done.  It was a very special time for me to share with just him.

Saturday continued with an evening out with a few of my other mommy friends.  It was such a joy to have us all together again for a time of fun and laughter.  It was hard to believe that we hadn’t done a girls night out since September as we picked up as if we’d never left off.  Basking in the sun at Stanley park, checking out funny cards at Chapters and partaking of a fun feast of chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate (oh, and a little bit of wine).

Our plans for Sunday had originally involved church, home for lunch and naps and then another family trip to Stanley park with James’ family but plans changed a little…I headed to church early to take care of a few details I’d missed during the week and when church was over was told to get changed and hope in the van because we were ready to go.  James had packed a picnic lunch, a change of clothes for all the girls and was ready to head straight in.  We ended up finding a wonderful place to picnic just the six of us and then met up with James’ family at Second beach to let the kids play.  We finished by walking back to Drew’s place (James’ brother) and then heading home in time to listen to the Canucks win the game on the radio (not really a big deal for me but the men in my life appreciated it)!

Today I figured we’d had such a good weekend and I really didn’t want it to end so I gave the kids a “mental health day”.  My mom did this for me when I was little and I believe it made all the difference for me in my schooling years as I really never had the desire to skip school because I knew if I really needed a break all I had to do was ask and it would be figured out.  So as a treat I declared it play-day for me and the kids and I abandoned all my regular monday chores for a day of fun.  No laundry, house-cleaning, etc.  The kids still had a few chores they had to take care of before heading out but nothing major.  We headed to Mill Lake park for 2 1/2 hours in the morning to discover bull frogs, tree climbing, ducklings, goslings, a new playground and a lot of beautiful sunshine.  Then we went to the library for some new reading material, then to the grocery store for a few necessities and a cookie from the bakery, then home to have lunch, play games and quiet time.  We finished off our day with dinner and cheering Sam on at baseball.

I really couldn’t have been blessed with a more enjoyable, relaxing, encouraging weekend than what I experienced.  In the moments when I questions my sanity and really debate with myself why I wanted this life of chaos I can look back at the last four days and recognize that the treasures I have in this life are unbelievably abundant and God has richly blessed me in every area of my life!

Birthdays in my life seem to pass with no great trauma!  I get to celebrate with the people I love the most and often it involves a gift of some sort.  Sometimes a gift that really rocks and other times just a little something to help me feel special!  The day in and of itself doesn’t seem to create any great feelings in me one way or the other.  I remember anticipating my birthday as a child and really enjoying the fabulous birthday parties my mom threw.  As an adult I enjoy that I have a day that’s all about me (let’s be realistic, I think every woman loves that) and that it creates a reason for me to hang out with the kids, my husband, my parents and in-laws and all my brothers and sisters.  It seems as we get older there are fewer opportunities to share with our extended family and I miss that.  This year I didn’t get a chance to hang out with James’ family (but we’re getting together for mother’s day with them so we’ll make up for it) but my family ALL managed to make it to our place for dinner and cake.  It gave me lots of warm fuzzies, that probably sounds weird but it’s true, to see my kids being loved by their aunts, uncles, grandma and grandpa!  The kids absolutely adore all their extended family and having those relationships is a gift all on its own. 

So when I look at the last 31 years and see how far we’ve come, the things we’ve accomplished in that period of time I can only say…”bring on the next 31 baby”!  Hopefully there will be many more memories to create, laughter to share, kids to love, and just general fun times!

I know I haven’t been posting a lot of pictures lately and I’ll be sure to get to some of those soon.  But I wanted to take just a few minutes to share some fun!  As some of you know James promised me dance lessons as my Christmas gift.  He put the money aside and said he would book them when it got closer to my brother’s wedding so we could at least remember what we’d learned instead of doing it right after Christmas.

Of course we didn’t take the chance to start lessons when life was slow, we decided to wait until we had every night packed with activity before we decided to give it a try.  I’m pretty sure James and I are both the kind of people who like to move, move, move all the time.  It’s no wonder that our children have issues sitting still and relaxing:)  Anyway, as time passed we realized we better make this happen or we would miss the chance to use our new found dancing skills at Joel and Meghan’s wedding!

So fast forward to April 27th @ 6:30pm!  We headed out the door with 45 minutes to get to Langley, get dinner and get gas.  Yup, another night of rushing out the door.  After grabbing Wendy’s and some gas we jumped on the freeway for Langley.  Uneventful for the most part until we come to finding the studio.  Okay I exaggerate a bit but truth be told James drives the van like a race car and it makes me nervous and when he zoomed past the turn it made me feel justified in getting on his case for not paying attention.  I think we both thought the same thing…”what a way to start a new adventure and give our marriage a little life”!  Thankfully we were both able to take a breath, laugh it off and get ourselves back in the mood of the evening.

So the studio itself seems a little boring from the outside (it’s located in an industrial park) but once you step inside it’s a very nicely laid out, well-kept little place.  There were a lot of people there for the intro class we were taking and another good chunk of people there to take a level 2 Waltz class.  James and signed in, paid and then proceeded to look around at a number of people pouring in all carrying their special shoe bags.  We wondered if we missed something and then realized that not everyone had these, only the “serious” dancers.  Yes, we laughed at these well-intentioned folks who probably joined the classes just like us but found a new passion and pursued it whole-heartedly! 

Our class was scheduled from 7:30-8:30 and we were supposed to learn Tango, Waltz and Swing.  Yes, the Tango is the sexy dance where the man carries a rose in his mouth.  No, James did not have a rose in his mouth and he did not run his hand up my leg or dip me!  This is intro people we only learned the most basic steps.  It was a great lesson in allowing my husband to lead.  I held my tongue and held my body back from taking charge.  It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be and James has great rythme so I think we actually did pretty good.  I know for a fact James had fun and I’m pretty sure he’ll be keen on taking a few more lessons in the future.  We laughed at our silly moments (we only stepped on each other’s toes once) and when we got home James even whipped me in his arms once in the kitchen to practise the tango!

We are both looking forward to our next class and hopefully this will be the start of something new and exciting that we can both enjoy in years to come!

I think one of the greatest struggles I have as a grown-up is living without!  I am always thankful that I live in a country where there is so much abundance.  If truth be told it’s over abundance which tends to lead to over-indulgence but in all fairness it’s hard to keep from wanting more and more and more when that’s the world we live in and it’s available.

As a child I never wanted for anything.  Sure I THOUGHT there were things I REALLY, REALLY needed and I’m sure I laid the guilt trip on nice and heavy at times but my every need was met and without going overboard I got many of the thing I wanted too.  My parents didn’t go crazy with name brand clothing, they didn’t take us on really extravagant holidays every year, we didn’t get the latest and greatest toy the moment it hit the shelf but we were happy.  The memories I have of my childhood are fresh and pure.  The kind of memories I hope my own children have…playing in the yard, learning to ride a bike, camping with my family, etc.

Now that I am entering the years that I know my children will remember I battle the same things I’m sure my own parents did when I was my kids age.  I will place a disclaimer here that I DO NOT in ANY WAY regret the choices in my life…I’m happy, I love who I am, where I’ve come from and where I’m at right now BUT I do sometimes lay in bed at night wondering how my life would be different had I made different choices.  What if James and I had waited just a few more years to get married?  What if I had finished my degree completely before I had Sam?  What if we had just stayed in the townhouse a few more years?  What if we only have two children instead of four?  What if I didn’t make being at home with my children a priority and decided to work fulltime?  So many what ifs you might say.  Then after I reconcile the choices I’ve made with the firm belief that my God is in control I move on to living in the here and now.  Unfortunately there are many questions that plague my mind in my reality as well.  What if Sam feels forever scarred because he’s missing out when he doesn’t get the latest and great video game system, or to participate in ice hockey (as he so desperately wants to)?  What if I missed a really big opportunity by not putting Jake in dance, since he has such great moves?  What if Lanae could have been a really talented musician but we just couldn’t do the music lessons, the sports, the educational extras?  What if by the time Annie gets old enough to do these things we can manage it and the older three are bitter because they didn’t get the same chances?  All this in the name of not enough money!!!!  You see where it just never ends.  And yet I know I can’t change where we are.  James has a great job that he is super happy at.  I have a great opportunity at the job I’m at and hopefully it will help me as I continue towards a teaching position.  My kids go to school where they can learn, they have more than two changes of clothes, they eat more than three square meals a day, we each only share a room with one person, they sleep in warmth and safety, and the list goes on for days.  If I tried really hard I could make the list of haves three, four, five times as long as the have nots.  Why can I not daily live in that place?

To answer that question I have to go back to the basic roots of my upbringing…another area of my life that my parents blessed me with.  To the basic fact that God created a desire in each of us for MORE!  He intended that desire to be filled with his Holy Spirit, with his peace, with his understanding, love, patience, and goodness, but in the world that we’ve created for ourselves we seek to fill that desire with STUFF.  I recognize this is a great insecurity in my life.  I’m not sure where it came from and why it holds me but it does.  In my times of quiet I lay it at the cross but pretty much every time I get up from that place I take it back.  Do I fear he won’t carry it for me?  Do I fear he’s incapable, do I brashly think I’m MORE capable?  Again I can’t answer that question but I have to trust that in the grander scheme of things God is GREATER than all these things and whether I chose to embrace that or not he remains just that GREATER…

Greater than a new house
Greater than a new car
Greater than ice hockey
Greater than the latest toy for my kids
Greater than the latest technology released by Apple
Greater than the most fabulous vacation on earth
And definitely GREATER than my desire to have all of the above!!!

So after a wonderful weekend that was spent reminding our entire family of Christ’s love for us I spent the morning today being reminded that there was in fact a reason that we NEED Jesus to have accomplished redemption for us.  Here’s why…

I’m not sure if it’s mainly because Sam is the oldest, and everything is new with him or if it’s because of his personality but I find so many more challenges in parenting him than my other children.  It’s not a matter of favortism or dislike by any stretch of the imagination I just often find myself at my end with him and more often than not I lose it!

This morning was a typical start to our week.  He’s an incredibly smart boy who does very well in school.  His teachers always speak very highly of him, his attitude and behaviour, his actions to other children and his schoolwork.  But the first day back to school after a weekend more often than not ends up in a battle.  He says he hates school and it’s too hard.  If I remember the cycle in the morning than I take preventative steps and we manage to get out the door without a fight but IF I’m tired or short it makes for a very regretful morning.  Today was a morning that I forgot and I hadn’t had a very good sleep so I was rushed and extremely tired.  As I reminded him again and again and again to do various tasks to get ready for the day I found myself closer and closer to the edge.  Of course not acting the adult I should have I stepped over and the result was less than desireable.

The thing that struck me the most when Sam and I discussed it in the van was how transparently I could see his heart through his eyes.  What I saw was rebellion, anger, arrogance and a general lack of care or concern for the events that had unfolded. 

Now as many moms know this can happen at various times throughout our children’s lives and it’s not that I didn’t expect it it’s just I thought I had a little more time to prepare for this stage of life.    I explained to Sam what I saw in his eyes and asked him if that’s who he wanted to be.  A sheen of tears appeared and he mumbled “no” but he quickly composed himself and shut out the clear conviction of the Holy Spirit in his heart.  It made me sad to see my oldest son willingly close the door and at the same time made me realize that aside from being on my knees more often for this child I cherish that I HAVE  to find a different way to parent him.  He has never had the kind of sensitive spirit that other children possess, instead he has a drive and determination that keep him going.  It’s not to say that he doesn’t feel or that he can’t find compassion in his heart but these are not his strong areas.  He is rule-lover, he sees black and white, he sees the beginning and the end.  In so many ways he mirrors me.

After I dropped him off I began to take note of the things he values.  He loves sports, he enjoys his friendships, he ALWAYS wants to spend quality time with James and I, he thrives through competition and activity.  At first I thought perhaps what we needed to do was take away some of those activities that he loves in order to make him think about his attitude, perhaps he needs to have a complete absence of these things.  I tried to think of ways that we could replace these activities with more faith-based programs or church type activities to help him get to the heart of some of this.  But I soon realized that God meets us where we are…putting him into another program will not change his heart only God can do that and that taking things that he loves away will probably lead to more rebellion and anger.  I realized that he needed to see more from me as his mom and feeling Christ’s example in my life.  I began to see that I needed to be more intentional in bringing Christ into our everyday life and perhaps even more importantly doing some sort of devotions with him that will help him begin to see the conviction of the Holy Spirit and willingly open his heart to that.  He sees it in James through Pioneer clubs ministry and they have a chance to share bible teaching in this venue but Sam doesn’t get a lot of that personal reflection that develops character here at home.

I am hoping that we can overcome some of these struggles through prayer on mine and James’ part but I’m also hoping that we can begin to work through some of these heart issues with Sam on a more practical level as well!  After spending a bit of time in prayer and in scripture this morning I feel much more positive than I did this morning and I hope and continue to pray that God will guide James and I through this incredibly difficult, but rewarding job of parenting.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Sorry I didn’t keep you up to date on the book I was reading. I did finish it and was thoroughly inspired by it. Many of the concepts and ideas cross my mind as I parent my children daily. I donated it to the church library so those who go to Heritage can check it out there and others who want to read it can find it at a local christian bookstore or online I’m sure (definitely worth the read)!

I thought I’d just post a few pictures of life in the Davenport home as of late. We are completely enjoying our early spring and looking forward to the start of baseball season. It will be a fun spring with James, Sam, Jake and I all participating on ball teams this year. Busy but worth it I’m sure. The boys are excited to get started with their season as well as cheering James and I on!

Anyway, here are a few pictures of what’s been happening here:

The one above and the one below are our little adventure back to Vancouver during the Paralympics. We didn’t get to see much during the actual Olympics when we went downtown so this was a much better adventure for our family!

The pictures below are a small family celebration for Christina’s 19th birthday (James’ cousin from Ontario who is currently living with his parents)

Now that the weather has been so beautiful the kids enjoy spending a lot of time out front. Although we have a pretty busy street Sam, Jake and Lanae know their boundaries and usually pretty good about staying away from the road. As a visual reminder we usually park a car parallel on the driveway to keep them from just darting out or heaven forbid another car from careening in.

This is my darling baby who likes to wear the top of the popcorn popper as a hat. I quite often find Annie with this get-up and needless to say it always gives me a chuckle.

Sam’s teacher is very creative in her art and because Sam enjoys art he often comes home with very well done pieces. This is just a sample of one of the pieces they did for the Olypmics.

Finally this is a picture of Lanae pretending to be a Kangaroo! She came up with this idea all by herself and I have to admit I was pretty surprised at the knowledge she had about this animal considering we’ve never talked about it.

I know I’ve said this more times than I can count but the blessings I have received and my children have received from relationships in our extended family are far too numerous to count. Having both sets of parents and siblings so close by does not come without it’s challenges but I have to say that I would not trade the great bonds being developed for any amount of distance on this earth. Maybe that sounds sappy to some and to others nearly impossible to fathom. I understand that every family comes with baggage and frustrations but for the most part James and I try to overlook these areas and focus on the positive aspects.

The other night Tim and Amber invited themselves for dinner and proceeded to arrive amidst the chaos that we call “home”. Sam and Jake both had friends over for a playdate and both friends were kids that have always felt very comfortable in our home. The moment “Uncle” Tim arrived all four of the boys were ready and willing to grab a leg, arm, armpit, etc. anything that would engage Tim in a wrestling match. For those who don’t know my brother, he is a 6’4″ police officer who is more than ready for a take-down at a moment’s notice. Much fun was had by all the boys and they all left the room with red, sweaty faces (Tim was no exception).

Now the thing I love most about Tim is that he is fun-loving and extremely easy-going about almost anything. But when it comes to playing with his nieces and nephews he is downright serious about tiring them out. All my brothers are actually pretty good that way but Tim definitely took the cake with his creativity on this particular activity. After dinner my four kids asked for another wrestling match and Tim obliged.

Following is a video of our very own “Canadian, Junior bobsledding team”. It was a good laugh for me!

I have endeavored two things in the past two weeks…Number one is to do my daily exercise routine before lunch every weekday and to follow the bible readings that our pastor suggested every morning during my tea break! So far so good and I have to say a new excitement has been building for both my physical and spiritual health. This morning as I was contemplating so many things the scripture I read struck me with such force both for my own personal being and for the greater world around me.

Matthew 12:36 “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken.”

My first thought was how many times have I carelessy spoken to my children, out of frustration, anger, in jest, etc. What account will I have to give for the way I have randomly made a comment to a friend or callously fired a remark at my husband. Never has a piece of scripture burned such conviction on my heart.

As I consider these words on a little bigger scale I think of the lonely young woman who has graced our extended family with her presence for an period of time. She has uprooted herself from her friends and family across the country in order to start fresh and get her life back together. In talking with her over the last few days I see a weary, young lady who has been hurt beyond compare with careless words spoken in anger. Words that may have held some truth but did nothing help her see just how far down a troubled road she had already travelled but pushed her like a bulldozer even farther down the ugly road. Words spoken by those who are charged with loving her and building her up. As I said we often do this to people we love but the reality is that there is no justification for such things and they will indeed come back to “haunt us”.

On a grander scale I see the implications of careless words spoken in relation to the disaster of Haiti! I could not keep my jaw from dropping as I listened, this morning, to a “minister” of Christian faith proclaim that the earthquake of Haiti was a direct result of the pact Haitian leaders had made with the devil. A judgement proclaimed from God on their people for “selling their souls”. As I listened to another talkshow interview Haitian Canadians waiting desperately to hear from family members or finding out that members of their families had been killed and buried in the rubble of their own home, I could not keep the tears from coming knowing that someone who claims to know MY God could pronounce such ficticious judgement on an entire people group.

I’m not really one to preach my faith from the rooftops. I prefer to live my life by example and love as Christ would love in order to draw people to him and allow his Holy Spirit to do the work. However, as I grow older and hopefully wiser I see that there are times when only a loud cry to him on behalf of lost, hurting souls can be heard and that as a believer I must defend my belief that God is not a God of carelessly spoken words but one who carefully chose his words with unconditional love and a deep desire to draw his children to him!

My challenge in the coming days is to think more clearly and deeply and speak less. A challenge that for any woman is difficult but one that MUST be taken seriously in a time when the spoken word is all too often tossed carelessy from the mouth.

Meeka Ward Neufeld made his appearance in the wee hours of the morning (1:33 to be exact) on August 26th after 26ish hours of labour! When I got a chance to pop in for a short visit an hour later my brother, Tim, looked positively exhausted and his wife, Amber, looked radiant! Both had the tired but clearly joyful looks of new parenthood plastered on their faces and both proudly watched as their newborn son was passed eagerly around the room! I know it sounds kind of poetic doesn’t it!? But really what else could it be when the miracle of new life emerges into the waiting arms of two loving people and an extended family ready to embrace all that this little person has to offer.

The months that lead up to this much anticipated moment are surely well worth the wait. With comments from the young cousins about when baby Meeka comes…how much longer until baby Meeka comes…will baby Meeka be born soon…and on and on it goes. When we told the kids auntie Amber was not feeling well and it probably meant baby Meeka would be coming soon they eagerly joined me in praying for a safe, quick arrival. Although as a mother I knew the hardwork ahead I also wished all the best and shortest possible amount of pain to my wonderful sister-in-law. Once Meeka was born I jumped out of bed to dress and make the short trek to Langley hospital and visit my brand new nephew. Later that evening the rest of the family joined me on a return adventure to hold, snuggle, and kiss this new little man in their lives.

Upon entering the hospital Jake informed me that, “we’ve never had a cousin before”, Lanae told me, “Baby Meeka’s my friend mommy and I’m going to help change his diaper because I’m a big girl” and Sam quietly strolled along until we reached the designated room. Upon arrival baby Meeka was finishing his dinner and of course being the knowledgeable older brother, Sam kept his distance but Lanae had no qualms peeking under the receiving blanket looking for Meeka and checking out every part she could actually see. When Meeka was ready to emerge Sam waited with eager arms to hold him for the first time. After about an hour the kids were clearly eager to get out of the small space. We headed home with each talking about how cool it was to have a cousin. Sam was sure he would be baby-sitting soon and Jake couldn’t quite grasp how come baby Meeka was so small in comparison to baby Annie (who now seems like a giant)! All in all it’s been a great experience so far and I pray the best possible transition over the next few weeks for Tim and Amber!