Life gets busy, Christmas is nearly upon us and in this moment I think I’m content! I have no other feelings or words to describe where I’m at. There isn’t anything significant that needs to be included in this blog…no big changes occurring in our lives, just living:)
James is more than happy at his new job and to see him love what he’s doing, come home with a smile on his face and hear his energy left to share with his children is so incredibly refreshing and such a blessing to us as the road we’ve travelled to get here seems long. Don’t get me wrong there are many others who have journeyed much, MUCH more difficult trials than us but when you live it, the trial is all consuming and sucks the life right out of you. To be in a place of contentment and rest just illuminates the place you’ve come from. I can honestly say that God has blessed my husband’s commitment and stick-to-itiveness (not a work I realize, but I’m sure you all get the meaning).
I enjoy what I do. It can be overwhelming at times living the life of working mom…I admire women who do it fulltime or, even more so, single moms who work and are both mom and dad. I find I have to consciously take off my work hat and put on my “mom” hat…on the days I don’t work the kids need me to focus on them and take time to just be with them. All in all I wouldn’t change a thing but I do have to keep perspective and continue to ask God for strength and wisdom.
The kids are all doing relatively well. The odd situation arises here and there as is the case in any household and parenting is hardwork but in most cases tremendously rewarding. As I watch my friends and see how we all strive to raise “good” children… I appreciate that God has given us all such individuality. Each household raises their kids so differently but watching such amazing children emerge is a testament to the spirit in which God created us…each unique and individual with different ideas, opinions and viewpoints. These continue in the generation that follows us and as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents we get to contribute to the molding these little beings. Such an immense blessing…I think that’s where I find it the most daunting…knowing that what I do does make a difference and I KNOW that I DO NOT always do it right. That’s why I cling to God’s grace.
I think if I were to try to use one word to encapsulate this period of my life I would definitely use the word GRACE! Grace for my mistakes, grace in providing for our needs above and beyond, grace for my impatience, etc. the list goes on of course but most importantly I feel a sense of presence, God’s presence that just gives me peace. I am learning not to worry, learning to let go, learning to allow who He is to literally surround who I am in turn, pour out of me. I’m sure to some I am desperately lacking but even in this I am learning to just concern myself with what God thinks. It’s a freeing concept (my girlfriends are laughing at this word because of a previous conversation we’ve had, sorry about the inside joke, but I mean this in the spiritual sense, ladies). It’s allowing to mull spiritual questions, have deep conversations with God alone and although I seek council of wise, respected individuals I need less and less approval of others and find more joy in just being.
I’ve digressed a great deal so I should probably sign-off but for those who are still checking my blog occasionally, I’m still here just not necessarily making it a priority to blog. Thanks for reading and as always I value any insight you might have ir thoughts you might like to share:)