Thankfully my excitement for God’s word has become even greater and the freedom I am feeling is amazing. I love how in choosing a relationship over duties I feel a connection deeper than I’ve felt in a long time.
The thing that intrigues me the most is how in these times of communion with God life can still get pretty ugly around us and yet the peace that passes understanding can be so all encompassing that we really can take great steps forward. I have often wondered how people whom I consider very wise in the ways of the Lord can have such tragedy invade their lives on a regular basis? How does one really cope with that and keep it together, all the while rejoicing and praising God for his goodness? This week has brought a little glimpse of that into my life. Although it isn’t really tragedy but rather deep, personal struggles that a family member faces I feel God’s presence and peace in a way I’ve never felt before. I hear the words of scripture and see the faith of people through the centuries and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is alive and bursting when one of his children chooses life over and over!
I have kept reading daily with the rest of my congregation and everyday brings a new nugget of information from texts I have read numerous times in my life.
Matthew 5:28 “because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed’.” How amazing to me that the mere touch of Jesus’ robe would bring healing that she had sought for a lifetime. What would be different in my life if I had faith that great.
Mark 26:13 “‘I tell you the truch, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.'” How many times have I heard the story of the woman who sacrificed a year’s wages to honor Jesus. Her story has been told for centuries and still is in memory of her!
Matthew 27:52 “The tombs broke open and the bodes of many holy people who had died were raised to life.” I have NEVER actually read this scripture before or at least not SEEN it with eyes open. How awesome must that have been?
Mark 6:51&52 “Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.” WHY??? How could these men who had given up everything for Jesus and seen him perform miracle after miracle have hardened hearts and still not understand who he was? Yet day after day I am surrounded by God’s miracles: my children, his creation, the love I still have for my husband after almost 11 years of marriage, a fully intact extended family who loves him wholeheartedly, and yet I often doubt how he will provide for some of our financial needs. Really how much do I need to see before I believe he is all-powerful?
What I love the most is that in all this I do feel his love, his disappointment in my lack of faith but forgiveness for the sinful nature that controls me. I hear his reassurance in the story of his miraculous birth and death on the cross for me and saving grace so that one day I may share with him a communion beyond this life!