Okay so it’s been way too long since I updated my blog! A few things have happened along the way, probably two of the most significant events include starting school and becoming an auntie again! Funny thing is that both happened on the same day…weird to say the least. Over the last two weeks both of these events have given me opportunity for a great deal of reflection and added an element of emotion to my life.
At this point I don’t think I’ll have time or energy to get into too much detail but there are a few things I would love to share…
ON BECOMING AN AUNTIE AGAIN…
First is the sweet, bitter entrance of Addison Mae Neufeld on July 29th in the early hours of the morning. I realize the saying is bittersweet, but I would never want my niece to think that the first emotion I experienced at hearing of her arrival was a sense of bitterness. There was definitely a mix of emotion mainly because I think we all felt the acute sense of missing someone very special in those moments that should have been shared as a family in utter joy and connection. But seeing her precious face was a relief and knowing that my heart does not connect her birth with Ryker’s death is something I am incredibly thankful for. There are definitely still moments that strike us all and bring on a fresh wave of sorrow, none as intense as Meghan and Joel still feel, but the little things that are different for each of us that trigger a memory, a wish, a longing and ultimately a deep sense of missing what should have been. It is a joy for me to watch my children hold their little cousin and snuggle her close, watching her little hands squeeze their fingers and their smiles at her tiny little eyes briefly opening at the sounds around her. It helps me to know there is healing there for them, even though my heart breaks at not being able to cherish both my niece AND my nephew.
Second is the start of a lifelong goal for me and the knowledge that the light at the end of the tunnel is not too far off. My teacher education program has started with a bang. A great group of people, a wonderful mix of instructors and a hope that we will all get through it. There is no doubt that this will challenge me in new ways. I will be stretched to open my mind even more to new ideas and thoughts, to put into practice some great ideals that I have held as well as open myself to constructive critique. I have no doubt that I will come out of this experience as a better person AND a qualified teacher.
MY HEAD HURTS!
In the two and half weeks that I have attended classes, which included two and half days of getting to know 58 new people, I’m pretty sure I went home at least three times with a headache from information overload. Considering the classes I’m taking span five weeks at a time and incorporate 4 months worth of university material in those 5 weeks, I can’t say I’m surprised that my brain is having a bit of a tough time wrapping itself around all the material it’s collecting. It’s been nine years since I attended post-secondary school and while it is super exciting it has been a bit of a shock to the system. I am incredibly thankful that I have amazing people in my life who are supporting me in so many ways. I’m pretty sure I could write an academy award “thank you” speech that would have the music ushering me off well before I’d completed all the recognition needed for the amazing people surrounding me.
Needless to say it will be an interesting couple of months, 10 more months to be exact, that will stretch me in so many ways but will be of huge benefit in the long run. Plus, as an added bonus, I’ll be employable in the local school district at the end of it.
So if you don’t see me again for awhile, don’t be surprised. I’ll do my best to share some tidbits here and there but they probably won’t be too long and for some of you may be totally uninteresting:)